MUSIC: KJ THEME.
HOST: Welcome to the
Knee-Jerk Theatre. ÔWe donÕt tell you what to think. We just tell your knee
what to do.Õ Now presenting: EXTREME DISASTERS UNLIMITED.
AMBIENT SOUND.
HARBOR NOISES.
PEPSI: This is Pepsi Roberts with MS-ABCNNBC
radio, here on the bridge of what is surely the most controversial ship in New
York Harbor, hoping to have a few words with--
PEPSI: Here he comes
now. Mr Singh, you must know that
a lot of people disapprove of your company's practices and policies, and
particularly this latest enterprise.
SINGH: It's CAPTAIN Singh, Pepsi! But seriously, just kidding; you can
call me Liam. And of course I know
we're controversial. Extreme sports, adventure travel, risk-taking in general
has always been controversial.
Ever since the first primate tried to see how far he could crawl out on
a limb before it broke. It's a love-hate thing with danger.
PEPSI: But don't you
think this is going a little too far?
SINGH: That's a
familiar refrain, too. Look, extreme
means extreme. The first BASE
jumpers were considered crazy.
Hell maybe they were.
That's what I liked about them, anyway.
PEPSI: BASE jumpers?
SINGH: You know:
Bridges, Antennas, Skyscrapers, Electrical towers.
PEPSI: BASE jumping. Is that how you got
started?
SINGH: Oh no, I worked up to it. I started back in high school in Orange
County. We used to crash cars to
set off the air bags. It sort of
grew. We figured if you packed
enough kids into a Volvo with front and side air bags nobody could get
seriously hurt. We were wrong
about that--but still, we had fun.
PEPSI: No outdoor sports?
SINGH: That came later. I got a bungee jump for a graduation
present. I started sky diving
after that. Did a little
knife-edge snowboarding, avalanche racing, stuff like that. Then I met my wife Darlene--she turned
me onto BASE jumping. We were part
of the crowd that rollerbladed off Century Tower in downtown LA in 2005.
PEPSI: That one had a pretty grim casualty
rate.
SINGH: Well it was New YearÕs Eve. And the drinking, you know. Which reminds me ... excuse meÑ
SINGH: Conrad? This
is Liam, on the Bridge. Check the forward hold where they are loading the
champagne. DonÕt let them short us! (CLICK-HANGS UP) Where was I? Oh
yes, Century Tower. We learned from that. We learned that a few fatalities
could add to, rather than detract from, an event.
PEPSI: (coldly) So you went from Adventure to
Disaster.
SINGH: Not right away. It was a process. You might say it began when Darlene and
I BASE-jumped off a twenty story housing project just as it was being brought
down with explosive charges. That
gave us the idea of staying in the building to see if we could survive.
PEPSI: And you did. Survive, I mean.
SINGH: Pretty much.
I lost these two fingers. Darlene
lost a leg. We were in the news
after that, and people started contacting us. It was a short step to taking groups, packaging the tour as
an earthquake survival experience.
We called it Rocking Richter.
That led straight into the Towering Inferno.
PEPSI: (critical) So it became a business.
SINGH: Ah, yes. The
Towering Inferno was an awesome money maker. We ran six in the first two years. Booked solid, months in advance.
PEPSI: With thrill-seekers like yourselves, I
assume.
SINGH: Not strictly. Corporate accounts were
our bread and butter. Enron,
Microsoft, WorldCom, Disney. They used it for team building. You learn a lot about your co-workers
when you are trapped on the top floor of a burning building.
PEPSI: (skeptical) If you make it.
SINGH: Oh, you
mostly make it. In fact, we
guaranteed a casualty rate of not more than five--or less than one--out of a
group of twenty five.
PEPSI: (coldly) I see. So what made you decide
to go historical?
SINGH: (lovingly) That was Darlene's
idea. She's a sort of a History
Channel buff, loves famous disasters.
We did the Shackleton Trek--only unlike him we lost a couple. And then
the Medusa Disaster, based on the 19th century French shipwreck. A hundred naked people adrift on a
raft. No food, no water.
PEPSI: That's when Extreme Disasters became
controversial.
SINGH: You're talking about the cannibalism.
But you have to understand, controversy draws as many people as it repels.
We don't do the
Medusa anymore but we do a Donner Pass every winter. We have to turn people away. The Medusa was our only flop.
PEPSI: What about the Hindenburg?
SINGH: All right, that too. It's hard to get people on a disaster
tour with NO survivors. But the Hindenburg
did push us into aviation. As a
matter of fact, our most popular event today is "Flight 13."
PEPSI: How can you make that one affordable?
SUZUKI: Well, for one thing, you don't need a
NEW plane. We build in a failure
but it's always different. Engine,
hydraulics, cabin pressure, you name it.
Sometimes it's ten minutes into the flight, sometimes an hour or
so. The first year we used a
little off-lease 737. Now we use a
747 twice a year, and we're booked at 100 percent capacity.
PEPSI: (scornful) I guess you don't have to be
athletic for that one.
SINGH: That's one
key to its popularity. Plus since
there's a survival rate of almost seventy percent, people can bring kids. It's great for bonding. Say the power goes out at 39,000 feet--it
can be a good 10-12 minutes before you ditch. You can get real close to your wife, your kids, even your
grandchildren in that time. It's
an unforgettable experience. Have
you ever tried it?